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  • 避免庸常寫好詩——陳旭慶《以鳥為頭,或以木為身》賞析 - 談詩論道 - 火種文學網_中國公益文學開拓者!
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    避免庸常寫好詩——陳旭慶《以鳥為頭,或以木為身》賞析
    類別:談詩論道 作者:劉慶言 發表日期:2013-08-04 09:53:48 自媒體:
    編者按:讓我們通過一篇文章,去了解一個人的文筆,從而更能讀懂其中一個人的胸襟,透徹的闡述了陳旭慶的作品和他風格,具有一定的深度......文章標題太長,可以考慮破折號以后的標題,加在文章摘要下方。

            陳旭慶老師是一位敏于時事、具有大愛胸懷的詩人,因而他的大多數作品都凝聚了他對現實的思考,體現了他對現實的理解與獨特見解。這是我關注他的作品的一個原因。但是,詩歌不是板著臉寫政治論文,寫得枯燥乏味就失去了作為詩歌而存在的起碼條件。陳旭慶老師深諳為詩之道,所以他的作品能在詩意飽滿的前提下完成嚴肅的思想內容的表現。這樣的詩作比起小情小愛的作品更具有表達的難度。然而詩人駕輕就熟,達到了走出小我天地寬的境界。
             那么,詩人作品的詩意是怎樣營造的?用了什么技巧?這是我學習時提出的問題,細讀后我終于得到一些啟示。
             縱觀詩人的作品——從漢字畫到詩歌的寫作,我發現,旭慶老師是一位思維極具個性化的詩人,他打破常規的思維習慣不僅體現在作品沒有浮淺的立意而且絕無庸常的語言。這正如一個圓,在常人眼里是絕對的圓,而詩人的想象絕對超乎常人,他就不一定看之為圓。這就是真正的詩人與常人的區別。
            比如在詩中國詩人論壇舉辦臨屏詩賽時,詩人在短短的兩個小時內就完成了榮居榜首的作品《以鳥為頭,或以木為身》。這是一首依圖而作的詩歌(見附圖),在普通人眼里,圖片上就是一只鳥站在一節樹樁上,僅此而已。稍微會想象的詩人會聯想到環保這一具有社會意義的主題,而旭慶老師高于普通詩人的是,他不僅看到了環保這一主題,同時,他還憑他成熟的思想和高尚的情操、洞明世事的觀察力、深邃的見解,提煉出一個關注底層,反映現實的主題。所以讀這首詩歌,初讀會感覺他也寫的是環保,細咀嚼,會發現這樣的理解終究淺了。留給讀者更多共鳴點,這是這首詩歌達到的藝術魅力。
             立意確定了,詩人又是怎樣表現的呢?首先,詩人運用了象征的表現手法,詩歌中的“你”即是樹樁,是底層、是老百姓的象征,“我”是小鳥,是自由的象征,“窒息的水”,“腐爛的水”,是高層,是社會現實.....旭慶老師是一個具有明主思想的詩人,他渴望人類自由,反對貪污腐敗,反對對人類思想的囚禁,詩歌的結尾詩人這樣寫到:“這扼殺一切的水終會退去,一種叫做人的神終會降臨”。這是詩人的美好愿望,他理想中的高層管理者應該是像神一樣神通廣大、能給人類帶來和平、自由、幸福而對人類一無所求。確定了立意,確定了表現手法,接下來,詩人就大膽發揮想象,運用了極度陌生化的語言來演繹主題。比如標題,就體現了對日常語言習慣的顛覆,獨立來看是非常不合邏輯事理的,結合全詩,你又不得不感嘆他的藝術魅力,再看正文,詩人大膽把樹擬人化,然后,“腳”、“頸項”、“思想的腦殼”,這些新奇的意象就很自然地出現,另外“荒誕的臉上掛著荒誕的笑容”,“你,一棵長了脊梁的樹,被剝奪了頭顱”,“你,只有暫以我為頭,而我,只有暫以你為身了”,這些句子都是陌生化了的語言,打破了標準的語言規范和邏輯事理,然而卻凝練含蓄,富于象征性、暗示性和跳躍的美感,其較高的審美價值和藝術感染力令人嘆服!
           賞析寫到這里,我禁不住感嘆:要寫出好詩,必須避免庸常!而旭慶老師的這篇作品,正是初學者學習的典范!愿我們的詩人筆耕不輟,用他智慧的光芒照亮初學者的寫作之路!
           附:
     




            以鳥為頭,或以木為身
                   文/陳旭慶
    你的腳,被莫測的土地囚禁
    你的頸項上,思想的腦殼蕩然無存

    而我,一只鳥,一直在尋找棲身之所
    尋找一尊可以接納翅膀的身體

    這時代啊,根本是一個笑話
    荒謬的臉上掛著荒誕的笑容
    你,一棵長了脊梁的樹,被剝奪了頭顱
    而我,一個自由的精靈,根本無法著陸

    可是你和我畢竟邂逅了
    在一片窒息的水上,一片腐爛的水上
    你只有暫以我為頭
    而我,只有暫以你為身了

    也許這就是命運,就是未來的雛形
    你和我都要相信,要相信呵
    這扼殺一切的水終會退去
    一種叫做人的神,終會降臨

                   2012.9.3

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