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    飯后茶余聊做人
    2013-08-04 09:39:05 作者:平時 】 瀏覽:13859次 評論:7
    編者按:文字精煉清雅,語言樸實生動,行文流暢自然,文章思想深刻,寓意悠長,哲理深邃,內容健康,積極向上。思想性、文學性、可讀性兼容一體。作者于茶余飯后的聊天嘮嗑中,娓娓道出了“如何做人”的人生準則和原則,倍感親切,受益匪淺!“與君一席話,勝讀十年書”!我們身處現代社會商品經濟時代,目睹物欲橫流,世風日下,雖非主流,但提倡精神文明建設,提高國民素質勢在必行!精華薦讀,問好作者!

      一日,朋輩三五相聚,三杯濁酒度余夕,飯后茶余聊做人。為人者,學習做人也!沒有人天生就會為人,怎么樣為人全是后天學習的結果。為人,也就是自身的修為。修為在身心修為在個性;修為在風度;在胸襟 ;修為在道德也在智慧。如果有人告訴你世界上什么最難學習,那一定是學做人。如果有人說什么知識值得一個人活到老學到老?那也一定是學習做人。“世事洞明皆學問,人情練達即文章”。做人難;就難在做人與做事的方方面面,難做人就難在為人與處世拿捏的尺度上。有一句俗話說為人不易茣栽刺,處世艱辛多種花。無論富貴貧窮,無論老幼尊卑,只要還在喘氣就要把學習做人放在首位。只有做好了這個“人”才能更好的融入這個社會,融入你自己身邊的人群。

      苦短的人生,漫長的歲月。我們學著走路學著做人,這一路走來就是一輩子。人生的路就像一條驛道,彎彎曲曲起起伏伏。在這條路上總是山戀疊嶂,還有急流險渡。在這條路上擠滿了形形色色的為生存奔波的人們,熙熙攘攘相擠相擁相吸相斥,磨擦著競爭著誰能保證就不會發生矛盾?這就要求我們做到“靜坐常思己過,閑談茣論人非”了。

      做人與教育相關,教育與人的個性形成相關。個性又與做人相關,特別是一個人的個性的形成又與家庭的教育息息相關。“人生一世,草木一秋”。從咿呀學語到白發蒼蒼也不過就幾十年的光景,從幼年到童年再到少年是一個學習做人的啟蒙階段。這一個年齡階段的人會學習模仿周圍成年人的行為,模仿成年人的言談舉止,特別是會模仿父母的的言行舉止。一部分人的性格可能都會在這一時期形成,這個時期的學習積累就為成年以后的性格人品積奠定堅實基礎,因為這個年齡的人具有極高的可塑性。所以我們說為人父母者在孩子面前要謹言慎行,仼何粗魯粗俗的舉止都會給成長中的孩子造成不可原諒的污染。這種污染,會直接影響到孩子成年以后做人的方向和形象。一個人從青年到中老年的時候他會時不時的在腦海里回味那些啟蒙時段的經歷,他“她”們會把早期接受的教育奠定成自己的人生觀,他“她”們會把從父母那里接受的信息當成做人的標準。應該記住的是,人的觀念一旦形成,就很難輕易的改變。早已形成的個性只會在后來的經歷里頑固地加深,即使真的因為自己的歷練有所改變,改變的也只會是一些個性的棱角。

      在一個文明的社會里,關于怎么樣做人都有一些約定俗成的必須遵循的規矩。這些規矩有些是有形的,有些卻是無形。為人父母者盡責,為人子孫者盡孝;為人妻為人夫,做下屬做領導做朋友都有處世為人的一套倫理道德在規范著。不守俗成的規范的人往往會有反社會的行為,會做出一些離經叛道事來毀了自己或者害了別人。人們一般都認為,一個人能夠做到不違背倫理道德的規范,不背離社會的行為準則就可以了。其實不然!

      處人:與人相處堅守原則第一,友情與關系在次。可是處人的規則又是禮法里所沒有明確的,這樣誠信處人的就成了處人的第一要素。人與人之間的關系有很多,譬如同事關系,上下級關系。街坊鄰里,親戚朋友以及同學戰友等等等等,這些都是我們時不時要相處,時不時要相逢的避不開的關系。如何處理好這些關系,就是做人的一部分。究竟怎么樣處人才是最明智最能讓人接受的行為呢?各種身份的人都有自己的不同認識。我們認為,與人交往或者朋友相聚應該先察言觀色解析人主流人群的意愿,切記不要僭越。時刻注意自己的語言修辭,力避生硬的語言,盡量用委婉的語調表迖意思。不要唱高調,須知曲高必定和寡。不要強出頭,木秀于林風必摧之。對競爭者,對待有成見的人怎么樣才能不激化矛盾又不卑不亢就是一門很深的學問了。接人待物能看出一個人的修養,增廣賢文說:在家不會迎賓客,出外方知少主人。

      處事:其實處事也跟處人有關。所有的事情都會涉及到人。這樣我們遇到事情就一定要心胸寬廣,豁達大度。萬不可'將己之心度人之意'。譬如你做領導,下屬事情沒有辦好,這個時候切不可聲色俱厲的指責。只能平心靜氣的了解事情經過,把應該說的話在心平氣靜中表迖出來。這樣就該說的也說了,別人又沒有生氣。其實你罵人一頓搞得那個下屬接受不了,對已經發生的事情又不能起到一丁點的作用。說不定被訓斥的人轉身就罵了你八輩祖宗,你的形象被自己破壞了還被人背后咒罵,關系也搞壞了。同樣,把自己凌駕于別人之上也是不明智的,因為所有的人都是感性的精靈,你尊重他人,他人也必定會尊重你。否則你就會被陽奉陰違所包圍。大家怨聲載道,看看你有多少眼睛去盯著你的下屬。處事的原則以不傷己又不傷人為好,遇事不為蜚短流長所左右。一件事情你不想參與,在拒絕的時候一定要給人面子。批評提建議時語句要適當,要適可而止,留有回旋余地。

      謹言,言為心生。無論是在什么場合或者什么關系,最重要是講話不能一嘴傷百人,盡量不要說一些不合時宜的,別人不高興或者尷尬的話。記得一次幾個朋友在一起吃飯,也許因為酒的作用,一位朋友在飯桌上眉飛色舞大侃特侃人家婚外情的八卦新聞,殊不知桌上有一位先生正在為自己太太的事在煩惱。無論我們怎么使眼色都轉移不了他話題,后來這兩個人的關系就可想而知了。有一句俗話說“哪個人前不說人,哪個背后無人說”。這句話說明了一個事實,那就是人們喜歡在背后對別人評頭品足,殊不知正是這樣的背后議論造成了人與人之間隔膜,造成互相之間的不信任。人應該在能夠糊涂的時候盡量糊涂,說話不要傷人自尊。

      慎行,行為意愿。“君子納于言而敏于行”少說多做,不夸夸其談。什么事情都要仔細考慮周圍人的看法,不獨自專行。不越位不邀功。富不驕貧不妥,不大把的撒金,也不吝嗇小氣。不疏遠落寞者,也不奉承當紅者。行千里路,讀萬卷書。布衣亦可傲王侯!

      其實人們對一個人的為人處世做得好不好是有評價的,從娘胎里出生的那一刻起人們就在評價。一個孩子呱呱墜地時如果安安靜靜甜甜的笑,人們就說這個娃兒多聽話不哭不鬧將來一定很懂事一定有出息,這就是評價。雖然這樣的評價顯得有些玩笑的意思,但是可以看出人們在乎這些善意評價。對于做人;人們的評價往往是中肯中帶幾分苛求。因為社會重視做人,人們也在乎別人對自己為人的評價。

      為人不佳。處世不妙。“朝聞道,夕可死矣”。

     

      茶余飯后

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